# 56 Rat Race

These days I find myself on a constant cycle of worrying I’m not getting enough work done and it’s getting irrational.

Generally Uni is a 9 – 4.30, five days a week affair. I try to switch off to it in the evenings and at weekends when I catch up on personal projects, client work or admin / website updates / blogs / promotion etc for my business. Project work is slotted in between doing the dinner and other household stuff I can’t avoid. Weekends are much the same. Invariably I will have a couple of photoshoots per month which fall at the weekend. Let’s say for arguments sake that takes up a day. Last weekend I worked solidly. One was a shoot, the other was finalising my dissertation for my degree.

Flicking back through my diary I have worked out that the last time I had a day that didn’t involve doing something business or Uni related was 28th December. I had 6 days off for Christmas and was staying with my parents.

So why do I insist on convincing myself I don’t work hard enough? I suppose it has something to do with not having any defined cut off points between home and work. This is a dangerous thing to lose sight of. I don’t do a day job that I walk away from at 5 o clock. When Uni finishes my business begins and that’s the work I do from home and where the blurry edges are. I don’t have a ‘work’ room either so I can’t just walk away and forget about it. I feel like I’m treading water a lot of the time, as I pick up and put down work continuously giving that feel of never quite getting anything done.

I’ve promised myself a week of genuine downtime at Easter when Uni is shut. By this time both of my collections will have been completed. I realise that once I finish my degree mid May there won’t be any lines to blur. Work will be whenever and whatever comes my way because I will be entirely reliant on it for my keep.

Getting used to a committed work ethic now should put me in good stead but I am hoping I can find the means to take Sunday as my ‘day of rest’ and recharge my mental if not physical batteries.


About goingitalone

All you need to know about me is on my posts. Right now, things are quiet. I'm trying to get back into blogging. Time - where is all the time!!!!

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