# 68 Fickle Insecurities
There are many reasons I am happiest of all behind the camera, designing and styling rather than modelling in front of it. It is an industry crippled by personal insecurities and I am often intrigued at how such self-doubting, fearful people are not only willing to put themselves through that kind of centre of attention on a regular basis but also how they continually rebutt any compliment that goes with it.
Let’s face it, if you’re modelling you SHOULD be good at it. It’s a hard job as any professional / semi-professional or serious hobbyist will tell you. There is no glamour in it as a job. And you should also be confident that you look good, feel good and give the best results every time you are on a shoot or catwalk because otherwise you are wasting everyone’s time.
There is nothing more annoying than the model who criticises how they look on final edits. Lines like ‘my legs look fat’ on a 5ft 9 inch tall, size 6 really really pisses me off. You may be fishing for compliments because you are insecure, but to the stylist and photographer this is just downright insulting. Did we not get your best angle? Was the dress not fitted enough?
If you know you have a best side, work to it. If you know a part of you is less flattering than the rest, play it down. To be honest I have no sympathy with people like this. If this is how you feel why put yourself through that kind of scrutiny every time you go to work? Time to change your career path?
Thankfully, the more professionals I work with the less I hear this sort of comment. You NEVER get this from a serious professional model who is being paid for her time. And she would not criticise the ability of her team with that sort of indirect response. I’ve never heard it from a photographer I’ve worked with.
But because a lot of my work still involves working with individuals who are hobbyists or just starting out, I still hear it and it’s making me weary and more picky about who I choose to work with. If I’ve asked you to model in a project, it’s not because I think your legs look fat, or I don’t like the shape of your nose. It’s because I think you look good, you fit the project and I want to work with you. Please treat it as a compliment.
I’d much rather listen to a model saying she likes the pictures, is happy with the angle and thinks she looks good than one who has an apparent sense of self-loathing. Recently, I’ve met a few people who are so self assured and happy in themselves they can say – ‘Yes I am brilliant’. Yes, it’s refreshing. I don’t dislike them for it. I don’t even think it’s arrogant.
I have been plagued with insecurities all my life. Now, as I am, most of them have gone. I’ve found my niche market, I know I am good at what I do and that’s not a boast. It’s a truth. It must be, people are asking to work with me and I am very very busy at what I do. I’m a professional making a name for myself and working with the best. Why should I be ashamed of that?