# 81 Bubbles

I always have this fear, when things are going right, that something is about to go catastrophically wrong. It’s because I have lived in a perpetual state of things not being quite right. When things are off kilter or the slump happens, it reminds me that life is real, gritty and shit happens. It’s something I recognise and to be honest it feels safer if less satisfying.

So when things go very right, I wonder what I am missing. Even though I may have earned that right to be happy – even for just a short time – I am expecting something to be waiting just around the corner to bring me back down to earth.  Now this may sound cynical, depressing even, but frankly, it’s true.

Today, I am pretty much of the opinion that things can’t be this right. I cannot possibly feel this at peace with everything in my life. it just doesn’t happen. And even though I think I have earned it (hell yes after the 6 months I’ve just had to plough through I certainly have) I am very much aware that life happens and there is no time for complacency.

I can barely remember how I felt this time last month, or the month before that. It seems like a lifetime ago since I was wondering what on earth was going on around me an when it was going to end. Now, all the pieces are fitting into the jigsaw.

I like it, I love it, but it scares me because I’m waiting for the bubble to burst and I’m hoping it doesn’t.


About goingitalone

All you need to know about me is on my posts. Right now, things are quiet. I'm trying to get back into blogging. Time - where is all the time!!!!

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