# 47 (2014) Don’t Look At It As Failure
It’s been almost three months since I moved into my new house share. And finally I am starting to get used to my new compact living arrangements. I am getting used to living in a studio (or is it working in my bedroom?) and I’ve long since stopped being sad about giving away all my furniture. But in three months I’ll be moving again, this time to a new city.
I have two options for my next move but spending the bank holiday weekend at home with my parents has absolutely ruled out the easy option – giving up and living off the bank of mum and dad. Now that I know this, it’s time to take stock of how things will change. I have three months to find a suitable destination, get a job and find somewhere to live.
I always knew Lincoln was not going to sustain me in the long term. There are various reasons for this. Some of which stop with me, some of which don’t. The reality is that there is very little here worth sticking around for and the last two years or so have been a very isolating experience. But equally, relocating somewhere else is not going to solve all my problems as I will essentially be starting from scratch.
I am open to the possibility that if I can find rewarding and meaningful employment elsewhere I will take a job and just do business on a part time basis which I hope will make me excited again about what I do. And if I can find affordable studio space, it means separation from my home life which I am desperate for now.
My more recent work has not been so rewarding although it has provided a better income. The fun has most definitely gone out of what I do. And the hand to mouth creative existence I’ve been enduring since I started university in 2009 has long since lost its lustre.
I’m almost done with moping around and I am keeping my eyes firmly on the next few months as being for planning and research rather than as a ticking clock to when I say goodbye to my independence. Time to take control.