# 49 (2014) Materialism
My lack of interest in material possessions stems mostly from my precarious financial situation which has endured since I arrived in
Lincoln six year ago. Constant moving which makes having stuff a real pain the arse, plus not being able to afford, or not wanting to buy, anything above basics or essentials because you don’t know where the next job is coming from, have drummed the need to shop right out of me.
It’s got to the point where I really don’t see the point in buying cards. Something you buy, pay again for to post and ends up in the bin after a month or so. Surely an action, a phone call, even a text is worth as much as an overprice piece of card?
I am generally uncomfortable about receiving gifts. I get embarrassed because when someone gets something for me I feel I have reciprocate which often isn’t possible. I also don’t think I deserve gifts so they have a general awkwardness about them.
I dread Christmas and birthdays (mine and everyone elses) because of the material expectation that goes with it. Maybe that’s me. But when you are surrounded by people for whom money seems to be no object and the buying of gifts that aren’t essential is standard, it is a source of stress.
People shouldn’t judge you for not buying gifts or cards. But they do. And it’s not a great feeling.