A week ago today a friend died.
I have little concept of people close to me dying. My parents are only children so we are a small family with distant offshoots. My grandparents are all gone. Both grandmothers died before I was 9 so I have no memories of their passing. My grandfathers have been gone a while, but only one I still keenly feel the loss of.
I only experienced my first burial last year, when my best friend’s mother died. It was a crushing experience. My family are generally all cremated – I suppose a slightly sanitized version.
And as I have moved a lot I haven’t experienced the death of people around my own age. I lose contact with people easily. I haven’t kept in touch with anyone from my school years.
Our friend was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer last summer. She was 27. They told her she would be dead by the end of the year. Her treatment was only palliative. In December her mother came over from Canada, collected her, and took her home. That was the last I saw of her aside from sporadic updates on Facebook. And then suddenly, one day, there is was. The message that she had gone. Having just made it to her 28th birthday.
And it’s a concept I struggle with. Here was a person who was, in my opinion, one of the few genuine assets to the human race, that I have ever met. And although we saw her sick before she went home, trying to get my head around the fact that she was there, and now she is not, is baffling.
I just don’t get it. And it makes me terribly sad.
01/02/1988 – 08/03/2016