Despite the emotional burden of being a member of the human race, I have never regretted my childfree choice. This may have been made easier because my brother and his wife joyfully became breeders, thus one more generation of our dwindling army has been secured and noone is looking to me to add to it.
My comrades at work yesterday were an interesting selection of life choices and choices yet to be made:
A gentleman older than myself, quite alone in the world except for his disabled wife whom he is sure he will outlive and is scared of what will happen to him once she has gone;
A woman much younger than me who finally after several years fighting has found a doctor to get her sterilised;
A woman as young as her who has no idea if she wants children but feels that she should;
And a man separated from his partner but with two children by her and who has a new partner.
Thanks to my flawed relationship chioces and continuous moving about ,making and keeping friends of any consequence has not been easy. Recently single I am now in the position of having to rebuild again. Singledom has made me more focused on finding a social circle I can sustain. Getting old alone is a real fear. Hopefully it will not happen to me as I do have surviving family. However, mine will not be an especially joyous old age I suppose. But then I have to confess that life has up to now been a disappointment anyway.
The industry in which I work is at times a depressing one. Creative though it is, it is full of lonely and damaged people desperately trying to make some assemblance of their lot in life. And I suppose in some ways I fit right in there, though many of the stories I hear about what others have had to endue just blow my mind. Despite my relatively normal upbringing I seem to have settled into this group of people even though at a distance.
Every work day where I meet other people is another day filled with such stories. It’s saddening and I realise that along the way there are going to be generations of single and vulnerable people growing up around me.